Film Review: Love You Like That

Images courtesy of Pivot Pictures.

One time in high school, I was eating tuck shop spaghetti at lunch with my friends. Suddenly, and I still have no idea how this happened, a piece of spaghetti got lodged up my nose as I was swallowing it. The sensation was completely disgusting, but what was worse was the realisation that there was only one way this pasta was coming out. Very slowly, I stuck my finger up my nose, and gently pulled the slimy piece of spaghetti out, and immediately dropped it to the floor. It was reminiscent of Ron throwing up slugs in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.  I was screaming, my friends were screaming, it was a huge, gross mess. The story immediately took the school by storm. Everybody was talking about it; friends, my year eight crush, girls in the year above. A teacher even asked me to recount the entire saga to him, telling me he had heard about it in the staff room!? This one fateful lunch had quickly become the most embarrassing day of my entire life. For a time, this was all anyone at school knew about me, and it did not help that the Principal retold my painful story to the entire school, parents included, at our end of year assembly. This experience has stuck with me ever since. And yet, I would still rather travel back in time and re-experience the entire thing, every excruciating moment, than watch Love You Like That again. 

P a i n f u l. Filled from start to end with cringe dialogue, wooden acting reminiscent of a middle school student film and characters that are a struggle to care about. If all you watch are Lifetime Originals and Hallmark Christmas movies unironically, you will absolutely love this. 

Love You Like That begins in the coastal town of Seafront Sands, the kind of small Australian town where everyone knows each other’s business, and any change in routine, such as the news of a mysterious woman washing up on Mim Beach naked, can send the entire town into a whirlwind. The mysterious woman in question, named after the beach she was found on, wakes up with amnesia. We don’t know where she comes from or how she ended up at Seafront Sands, but to be honest, after meeting this character, we frankly don’t care. Mim reminded me of Giselle from Enchanted, only more annoying. Over the top cheerful in a way that was more grating than charming. Other delightful characters include Emily, who attempts to fill the “funny supporting friend” role to our lead Harrison, but to no avail. She makes rampant jokes and allusions to her sex life that are supposed to be scandalous, but in reality just end up sounding like how Samantha would have spoken if she was on the almost as cringey And Just Like That. There are other characters, and I vaguely remember other things happening in this film but none worth mentioning here. There was a twist but it only has an impact if you are invested in the people of Seafront Sands’ lives, which I was not. 

I do feel somewhat bad writing this, because I do appreciate that making a movie, of any size, is a huge undertaking that is very difficult… but at the same time I’m feeling vengeful after being made to sit through that thing. It’s a no from me. 

Love You Like That is available to stream on select services now.