Film Review - Anyone But You
Images courtesy of Sony Pictures Australia.
Euphoria (2019-) star Sydney Sweeney takes over Sydney in this sexy rom-com.
I was fortunate enough to attend a special preview screening of Anyone But You (2023). I was treated to a custom Anyone But You-branded cocktail, a photo wall, DJ, complimentary popcorn, and choc tops (cries in lactose intolerant), but all the free food and drinks in the world couldn’t distract me from how bad of a movie this was.
Was it the worst film I have ever seen? No. Did I laugh at some jokes because other people around me in the cinema were laughing? Yes. Would I watch it again? Absolutely not. Hot girl summer is upon us so it only seems right that I describe this hot mess so you can decide if it’s hot or not for yourself.
Bea (Sydney Sweeney), busting to use the restroom, is saved by Ben (Glen Powell) in a romantic coffee shop loo meet-cute that could only be set in America. It’s love at first sight. That is until their first date. Between Bea, a law student, and Ben, a stock bro, what could go wrong? Egos clash, love turns sour, and Bea and Ben go from lovers to enemies.
The couple are thrust back together for the lesbian wedding of Bea’s sister and Ben’s best friend’s sister. As members of the wedding parties, Bea and Ben must overcome their hatred of each other and travel to new territory down under. To escape Bea’s “blackhawk helicopter parents” plot to get her back together with her ex, and make Ben’s ex Margaret (Charlee Fraser) who is flaunting her new true-blue beau Beau (Joe Davidson), jealous Ben and Bea do the mature thing: pretend to be a couple. There’s nothing like a gay wedding, with only subtle tokenism, in another country to bring people together!
Anyone But You is a modern-day adaptation of Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing, with none of the charm of an adaptation like 10 Things I Hate About You (1999). Director Will Gluck has brought in big-name Sydney Sweeney to attract Euphoria fans to the cinemas. Sweeney’s style of sexy girl-next-door style of acting perfectly complements the effervescent, conventionally attractive, and provocative character of Bea. Glen Powell is no Heath Ledger. Next to Sweeney, Powell is just some guy.
The costuming is potentially the greatest letdown of Anyone But You. Herein lies my main complaint: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET SYDNEY SWEENEY A BIKINI THAT FITS HER BREASTS!!! This was my major pet peeve throughout this film. Some may argue beauty is pain, but there is nothing beautiful about an underwire digging into your boob (I’m speaking from personal experience here). Costume designer Amelia Gebler I am looking at you! Sweeney - “the plump-chested one with the sad eyes” - desperately needs a bikini that doesn’t ride up in the back and supports her chest. No wonder she has sad eyes! Within the film’s humble budget of $25 million, it’s outrageous that Gluck couldn’t provide his actors with costumes that fit. Anyone But You shut down the Sydney Harbour Bridge for three days, where is the (chest) support for Sydney Sweeney?!
Gluck has taken the raunchy rom-com and made it naughtier. A truly unforgettable moment in this film is an unsolicited close-up of Beau’s (Joe Davidson) foreskin. Gluck heavily relies upon physical humour to maintain momentum in this R-rated film. We don’t see sex but there is plenty of full-frontal nudity thrust into this flick. Sex sells. The film’s poster is dripping with heteronormative sex appeal. Walking Aussie stereotypes Margaret and Beau are constantly shirtless and don’t seem at all concerned about getting skin cancer. The appeal of Anyone But You isn’t in the writing but in the sexual objectification of the actors in it. I would describe the sexiness Gluck employs as cheap and juvenile (although I’m sure Sweeney’s contract wasn’t). Gluck compensates for bad writing with physical humour that doesn’t land unless you find nudity funny.
Anyone But You is just another forgettable rom-com. The entire plot of Anyone But You could have been avoided if Bea and Ben were mature enough to communicate their emotions to each other. If you desire to see an unsolicited close-up of a foreskin, there are websites for that. In my honest opinion, skip this film and put on 10 Things I Hate About You, a much better Shakespeare play adaptation.
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Anyone But You is screening in cinemas from Boxing Day. For tickets and more info, click here.