Film Review - Bullet Train

Images courtesy of Sony Pictures Publicity.

Everyone is so egocentric in this mad world of ours, so engrossed with their own objectives that they fail to see the world burning around them. This analysis of our 21st century living rests at the heart of Bullet Train, as Ladybug makes his return to espionage only to find himself at the centre of a plot far bigger than himself. 

I initially thought this movie would be like Speed (1994) without the bus, or perhaps Speed 2 (1997) without the boat. I mean they share a significant actress between them and a strikingly similar plot: ‘Ladybug gets stuck on a speeding train and can’t get off’… Boy was I wrong. Replace the camp of Speed with situational comedy and voilà, you have Bullet Train. 

I mean the camp is still there, but it’s so self-aware that it hurts sometimes. Obviously, I mean hurts my ribs with hearty yuks, but the mounting frustration building throughout the film enhances the payoff of the continuous gags, each more tired than the last. Don’t get it wrong though, I don’t mean the execution of the gags was tired. Instead, the fatigue of the agents trying to do their jobs seeps into audiences making each absurd obstruction funnier than the last. 

You may think that it would be difficult to cram in plot lines of  avenging dead relatives, doing contract work for the world’s deadliest gang, attempting to kill that gang’s leader, or simply trying to exit the train… You would be wrong. Through dizzying transitions and cuts between characters, no one scene outstays its welcome which really helps the film’s two-hour runtime fly by without a hitch. 

Looking at the poster for Bullet Train is a testament to the sheer amount of content and attention to detail that you’re going to find when you sit down for this one, which you should do at your earliest convenience. Speaking of the detail, Japanese culture is devoured from start to finish in this feature. One of the first things Ladybug notes is that he could live in Japan, and it feels like director Zak Olkewicz shares that sentiment with the amount of neon lights, cultural tropes, and sweeping pans of the cities- or more realistically, their subway stations- which fill whatever spare time is available between the character development Bullet Train equally devotes to every assassin onboard.

The only disappointment I had as the credits rolled was that I was notably the only one to laugh riotously for each of the two man-gets-kicked-in-nuts gags Olkewicz crammed in here. Is Ol’ Zakky out of touch? Regardless, I’m just glad someone out there is still catering to my low-brow humour.

Bullet Train is screening in cinemas from Thursday, August 4th. For tickets and more info, click here.