Film Review - Pinocchio
Images courtesy of the Walt Disney Company.
What a ride. We’re only three years into Disney’s remake era and there has been just so much. So much disappointment, so much content, so many tears, so few payoffs… Will Pinocchio be the one to turn all this around? Well, the verdict comes in two: the children say yay, the parents say nay.
What happened?
I myself tend to identify as a child on most occasions, least of all my romps to the cinema, so perhaps I can be somewhat of a mediator betwixt realms and bridge the gap as my impression of the film landed squarely in the middle of the spectrum. I had no nostalgia packed with me as I’d not watched the original, and when Disney’s spokesperson introduced the feature, my lack of credentials were on display as she murmured the words ‘changed ending’, as I fully appreciated the possible merit in actually preparing for screenings. Alas, ‘twas too late and my introductions to Jiminy Cricket were in order as processions began.
Exiting I felt a conflating bemusement as my astonishment attempted to share the pedestal with my awe. I was astonished at what I’m sure will be regarded as some of cinema’s best animation premiered before my very own eyes, and I was in awe when the thinkers behind this smash hit decided to yeet my favoured villains out the window as they demonstrated a veritable roster of despicable despots, unsure which was to be named Pinocchio’s antagonist.
Was the bad guy the circus master?The strays on the street? The big fish in the ocean? The bullies at school? Or perhaps, was it the band of hooligans stalking the streets at night looking for children on the street corners? Every second of time deciding which character was the flavour of the moment deducted from the time I was spending admonishing every visual effects artist in Hollywood because I’ve never seen lighting look this gorgeous.
That’s the funny thing about all these live-action remakes: the reviews will cycle in every release window and the feelings of the masses will be satiated alongside some olive branches. Yes, we critics will say they messed with the story which was naturally for the worse as Disney tackles each project with the vigour of a freshman and the hesitancy of someone restoring DaVinci’s masterpieces, but wowzers what a case study for the potential of animation. I’m just sad I have to repeat this now stale assessment with Pinocchio…
Happy Disney+ Day.
Pinocchio is streaming on Disney+ now.